Someone is watching you
Parenting is a very complex and critical task. If we’re not careful, we will become too focused on one aspect and let the others fall by the wayside. Many times, I see parents who are intently focused on discipline, and I’m talking about the traditional use of the word here with regards to modifying behaviour. Sometimes we get very caught up in the
“What do I do when...” or
“How do I get my kid to...” and
"Why my child?"
We lose sight of the bigger picture!
The truth is that there are many things that are more important in shaping our children than the methods and techniques we use to modify their behavior and being judgemental about their right and wrong doings.
The relationship that we have with our children is the single biggest influence on them. Our relationship sets an example for how relationships should be throughout the rest of their lives.
If we have a healthy relationship based on respect, empathy, and compassion, we have set a standard. They will grow to expect that this is what a relationship looks like and will likely not settle for less. If, however, our relationship is based on control, coercion, and manipulation, well you see where I’m going with this.
In addition to that, our influence comes from a good relationship. Children are more likely to listen to and cooperate with an adult they are connected to - in other words, if we build trust and open communication when they are young, they will come to us when they are young adult or teen.
Our attachment helps wire healthy brains and our responses set the tone for how they respond to us.
When you look at your child, who do you see? Do you see the positives or the negatives?
The way you think about them influences the way you treat them. Your thoughts also influence the way you feel emotionally and physically throughout the day. Try to turn negative thoughts like this into positive thoughts, like, "he is too confused all the time" could be replaced by “He is inquisitive and fun!”, "He takes little longer to make descions" could be replaced by "He is careful while making choices"
Try to start seeing misbehavior as a clue that needs help rather than something that needs rectified immediately.
Remember -
Your child is not villain of your family. But he/she is learning from your behavior.
Always watching you.
## Very important ##
Correction is not needed nearly as often as you might think.
Also watch your tone and language. Be mindful of the language you use to describe your children. They will come to see themselves through your eyes.
Be careful not to place labels such as “naughty” “clumsy” or "lazy", "hyperactive" on your child. They will come to see themselves the way you see them.
Be gentle.
Always remember "someone is watching you" Even if you think they are only little.....🐛
